Types of Humiliation

Since locking myself just shy of two weeks ago (and subsequently having a Dom replace the lock in a scene last Thursday), I've been talking about kink a LOT. Go figure, right? I've had a few old friends/acquaintances who came out of the woodwork randomly, and got to see how we'd set off down different paths of kink development. Throughout the course of these discussions, as well as reflecting on past conversations, it occurred to me that humiliation could be grouped into two categories: iconic and intrinsic. There may be more appropriate terms for the classification, but I'm particularly fond of these two.

Iconic humiliation is the more prevalent form of dominance, which makes sense given its foundation. Essentially, the emphasis is placed on concepts derived from cultural sources. Whether this is the prevailing culture in their home country or some smaller subculture, it is rooted in the subject's experience; leather, cigars, certain verbal humiliation, feminization, etc. A shining example of this would be ass toys: if you pick up a Men's Health magazine in some Latin countries, you might find an advert for or article on butt plugs. Having known female Doms, I can say some LOVE humiliating a guy with ass play. While this might work in American culture since there's a rather large stigma surrounding ass play - which makes a man feel like his masculinity and power is being challenged - doing the same thing to someone whose culture doesn't share that stigma is unlikely to be humiliating. The same could also be said of verbal degradation and calling a boy a faggot or a cocksucker; someone without a history of ostracization due to their homosexuality is less likely to have an emotional response to such acts.

Intrinsic humiliation, of course, would be the opposite; things that transcend cultural differences. Most of these are things that tie into the fact that we, as a species, aren't very comfortable with the reality that we are still animals. As such, this often ties into our animal side. Although some of these things are physical, there's a palpable psychological component; things like physical positioning (Dom always being elevated), eye contact restriction, restricted speech, forced nudity, etc. There is still a very real animal component to our brains - a part that doesn't recognize logic - and if you want to learn how to control ANY man watch how animals exude control in their social settings. If you're able to break a boy down to where he's less likely to have racing thoughts, these are the things that are sure-fire to keep him there. Even if he doesn't think it's particularly hot or enjoyable, or even especially degrading, it's still a reminder on some level that his psyche can't be immune to.

Being into "legitimate" control, I generally favor the concept of intrinsic humiliation because it can't be combated with thought since its effects hit the part of our self that doesn't think. It's by no means superior, but it's more necessary for a well-rounded Dom; if you find someone immune to the iconic images you're capable of exuding, what's left? You suddenly find yourself with a boy you can't humiliate simply because his background is substantially different from yours. Most of the time scene discussion can flush these issues out before they even happen, but if you don't have an understanding of what is innately indicative of power or superiority there isn't much room left once the icons fail - regardless of how hot they may be when they DO work.

Happy Anniversary!

Apparently my first post was a full year ago today! It's been loads of fun, and I hope that in addition to some jerkoff material that this blog has helped some guys find scenes they otherwise might have missed out on - which I'd love to hear about, incidentally.

And just for fun, here's 5 of my all-time favorite humiliation-oriented photos.

The 10% Dom in Me

Most of this blog is my sub side coming out, but I also have a rarely seen dominant side. I listed my ratio as 10/90 Dom/sub for a long time on Recon, but recently bumped it up to 20%. Might be a bit excessive, but it's definitely there lurking under the surface.

I've known Johnny Gear for several years, and there's few guys whose screams can get me as hard as his. The video below is from IML a few years ago - hosted through his site Kinkasaurus - and happens to have captured my sadistic side quite effectively.

 

Metal Restraints

For years, when people asked me "what kind of bondage" I like my response was always "tight, taught, or tough;" the closer to complete immobilization the better. As control has been becoming a bigger thing for me, metal has been becoming a HUGE interest. I'd discounted it for years because under most circumstances it isn't that overwhelmingly restrictive, but when you're in a situation you want out of it's often more effective than rope or leather. Unless you've got the keys or tools? Yeah, you're FUCKED. After a decade of chasing after the most intense bondage I could find, all of the sudden the idea of having my hands handcuffed behind my back and a chain padlocked around my neck by an aggressive guy gets me as hard as an intricate shibari-style tie does.

The moral of the story: it's important to revisit old ideas when you feel your priorities beginning to shift, or even just on a regular basis. Now that there are things like Tumbler it's a lot easier to do since you can subscribe to people who have similar interests that might pull in unexpected things.

Control is Best When Stolen (Day 2)

So I'd been wanting to do something more for the story I started back in May, just before IML, but hadn't been in the right headspace to pick up where I left off. Apparently locking my cock up for a few days did the trick, so here's Day 2.

This part of the story has the same disclaimer as the previous one: my writing this is not a free pass for anyone to engage in this sort of behavior. If it has not specifically been discussed with you - no, allusions or hints do NOT count - then you should never engage in a force-oriented scene like this with anyone.

A New Favorite

I locked myself in chastity yesterday, so the sub part of my brain's going a little wild. I was trying to find some vids of guys being really aggressively manhandled, and instead this video randomly came up in the mix. I instantly loved it the second he told the boy he had to wait.

Fun Chastity Photos

While I'm not as avid of a chastity fan as, say, Johnny Gear - or some other bloggers who are essentially locked up indefinitely - I do enjoy it from time to time. I actually prefer it during a scene as opposed to more long-term, but the combination of the two can be outrageously hot. For me, taking my cock out of the equation in a scene means I have to deal with what the top gives me without edging or pleasure as a fallback .. it can create pretty sense of subjugation if executed properly.

Geared-Up Doms

Dominance is often centered around an air of masculinity, and gear that aligns with that ideology and image can be great as the icing on the cake. A guy who can give off that kind of energy should be able to have you licking his boots with a glance.